FIC: Brother, Lover, Whatever [05/??]
Aug. 10th, 2011 06:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thiliaarchiveAuthor: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thilia
Title: Brother, Lover, Whatever
Pairing: Tom/Bill (main), Bill/HP boys, Tom/HP girls
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU - Hogwarts, WIP, slutty Kaulitz twins ;)
Word Count: ~14,000, so far
Tom is a Gryffindor, Bill is a Slytherin. Tom is good and loyal, Bill not so much. The only thing they have in common is that they're both known as the greatest sluts to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts, and that nothing's ever been too wrong for them to try it...
Parallel fic to The Not-So Secret Diary Of... [Georg/Gustav]
Masterpost | THfiction | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Tom smirked into the kiss, his cock already hardening in his pants. He'd considered seducing Hermione Granger for years now and couldn't believe she was giving in to him this easily. He'd flirted with her a lot and sometimes she'd flirted back, but in general, Tom had always had the impression that she was more into Ron Weasley than him. And sometimes, her flirting with him had been very obviously done to make Ron jealous.
Maybe they were fighting once again and that was why Hermione was giving in. It would make sense… and either way, it didn't really matter. Tom wanted Hermione, Hermione clearly wanted him, if her eager kisses were any indication, and Tom fully planned to take advantage of this. He'd deal with the consequences later; right now, he let his cock do the thinking.
He slid his tongue into Hermione's mouth, his brows shooting up when he felt cool metal sliding against his tongue.
Hermione's tongue was pierced?! Tom had always thought his brother was the only one crazy enough to dig a hole through his tongue – but apparently not. The idea of maybe finding more piercings on Hermione's body sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his cock and he moaned into the kiss as he deepened it. Hermione's hands tangled into his braids and he moaned when she tugged a little.
Reassured that Hermione definitely wanted this, Tom let his hands wander and cupped one of her breasts, squeezing it lightly and making her let out a soft gasp. He smirked against her lips as he rubbed her nipple through the much-too-thick fabric of her shirt.
He broke the kiss and trailed his lips along her jaw and neck, nuzzling her curly, bushy hair as his other hand came up to stroke her other breast as well.
He shifted a little and pushed her down onto the floor, sliding on top of her. She spread her legs willingly, Tom slid between them, moaning when his cock rubbed against her centre. After kissing her again for a long moment, he reached for his wand and pointed it at the door, locking it with a spell. Then he turned back to her, looking down at her hungrily.
"You have way too many clothes on," he murmured, slowly unbuttoning her shirt with one hand, his eyes raking over her flawless skin. She wasn't wearing a bra and Tom moaned when he stared down at her exposed breasts; they weren't small but perfectly round – and one of her nipples was pierced as well. God dammit, this girl had an unexpected kinky side, which Tom approved of. A lot. He leaned forward to catch her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it lightly and smiling when she arched up into the touch, moaning. He kissed his way down to her stomach, trailing his tongue around her equally pierced bellybutton.
Just like he'd expected, Hermione had an amazing body, which he planned to kiss and touch for as long as she'd let him. He looked up into her eyes, giving her a smile before he slid his hand between her legs, stroking her slowly but insistently.
"Oh god," Hermione breathed, and Tom smirked smugly; he definitely knew how to make a girl feel incredible, and was glad to have so much experience; it made him confident about his abilities, and girls loved a guy who didn't hesitate. He kept rubbing her firmly for another few moments, then unbuttoned her trousers and pulled them down.
When she was naked, he stared down at her again, the pulsing in his groin almost unbearable in its intensity. He licked his lips and brushed his fingertips over her thighs while she stared up at him with wide eyes.
"Take off your clothes," she whispered. "Need to see you."
Tom grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."
He quickly discarded his own clothes, posing a little when he was naked to let her take a good long look at him. Hermione did; the hunger in her eyes evident.
"I want you," she murmured, her eyes travelling down his chest and down to his cock, which twitched a little when it was the centre of attention.
"I want you too," Tom replied, sliding his hands up to her hips. "Gotta get you ready first, though."
He leaned forward and kissed her lower stomach again while his hand once again moved up to wrap around one of her breasts. He rubbed the nipple lightly, pinching carefully as he slowly moved down between her legs. He loved going down at girls, especially girls who didn't have much experience – he loved watching them react to his skilful tongue. Hermione didn't disappoint, and started moaning loudly when Tom started flicking his tongue against her clit while he slid one, then two fingers inside of her, smiling when her muscles clenched around them. She was wet and ready, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait.
Hermione thrust her hips against him impatiently; she was trembling and whimpering, clearly needing him just as much as he needed her. Finally he pulled his mouth off her reluctantly, licking his lips and looking down at her. He moved up her body again, pressing a soft kiss against her lips as he rubbed his cock against her entrance.
"You ready?" he asked softly, showering kisses all over her face and looking down at her intently. He'd spent almost a whole half hour touching her and pleasuring her with his tongue, and she couldn't really get any readier than she was right now; he knew this. But he still needed the reassurance. Hermione was a "good" girl, and while she seemed pretty naughty and responsive to him right now, he didn't want to end up antagonising her. He was pretty sure Potter and Weasley would hunt him down if he did something she didn't want – and he really wanted to avoid that, if possible.
She nodded eagerly, giving him a brief smile. "Yes, I'm ready. I'm so ready, Tom."
Their eyes met and Tom gave her a little smile, nodding. He reached down, taking hold of his cock as he rubbed the tip against her, then positioned it and pushed in firmly, sliding in slowly.
Hermione tightened around him the moment he entered her, and her nails dug into his shoulders. Her face was scrunched up in concentration as he slid in easily – but after a second or two, her grip on him tightened and she let out a whimper. "Ahh… ah – ow! Tom, you need-"
Tom nuzzled her neck, stroking her hip calmingly as he pressed on, knowing it sometimes hurt a little for girls before the pleasure took over. She'd thank him later. He pushed in deeper, then raised his head, his heart sinking when he saw the obvious pain on her face. A tear rolled down her cheek and he kissed it away. "It'll be okay. Just need to get past…" He trailed off, then buried his face in her neck again, pushing harder, which made her yelp in pain and start pushing him back.
He slid out of her without meaning to, and when he raised his head to look down at her, he froze and sat up abruptly, falling back onto his ass.
Hermione was gone – and instead, he was staring at Bill.
Bill was looking up at him through wet lashes, curling up into a ball when Tom sat up in shock.
"Tomi," he whispered, sniffling.
Tom's eyes widened and he sputtered, not sure what the hell was going on here. "Bill, what…"
Bill sniffled and rubbed his eyes, now not only tear-streaked, but also blushing in embarrassment, while Tom slowly began to realise that Bill must've polyjuiced into Hermione – and why the hell would he do that? – and then agreed to let him fuck him/her…
But why?
Tom was confused and knew it was obvious. But Bill was in tears, and a mess, and even though Tom needed explanations, his brother's well-being came first. He crawled over to him and wrapped his arms around the other boy, kissing his forehead and rocking him back and forth, whispering what he hoped were soothing words.
***
Bill finally rubbed his eyes and took a shaky breath, resting his head on Tom's shoulder. It had hurt. Hermione had to be a virgin, which was why he had been a virgin as well. It didn't hurt anymore now, but he couldn't seem to calm down. He'd never meant for Tom to find out it was him. He wasn't even sure why he'd said 'yes'. And now Tom looked confused, and maybe a little angry, and while Bill was usually unbelievably confident, he felt really self-conscious and embarrassed right now. How was he supposed to explain this to Tom? What if Tom was horrified and he'd broken their strong bond with this… whatever this was?
After fretting for a few long minutes, he made himself look up at his brother and wiped his tears away.
Tom looked down at him and stroked his hair, biting his lip.
"I'm sorry," Bill murmured before Tom could say anything. "I was going to… turn into Potter again, for Malfoy, but… I must've picked up the wrong hair and…"
Tom nodded, understanding that much, and pressed another soft kiss against Bill's still-red cheek. "But why did you…?"
"Play along?" Bill asked, taking another deep breath. "I guess I was… curious. I'm sorry – I never meant to betray you and I still don't know why I did it but… I really just… I was curious, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
He rubbed his nose and looked at Tom. "Are you mad?"
Tom looked down at him, still running his fingers through Bill's long hair, and finally shook his head. "I'm not mad. I'm just… confused. Did I hurt you?" He bit his lip, looking so worried that Bill wanted to grab something hard and hit himself over the head with it like their silly house elf Lippy.
"A little," he admitted in a small voice. "I just… I guess I wasn't prepared for it to hurt, and… Fuck, Tomi, I'm sorry."
Tom nodded and tightened his arms around him, making Bill feel a little better. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said quietly.
"It's okay," Bill whispered. "Doesn't hurt anymore."
They were silent for a long moment until Bill looked up again. "Why did you come into the girls' bathroom in the first place?"
He realised he sounded like he was accusing Tom and blaming him for everything that had happened, and added quickly, "I mean – not that it's your fault. But…"
He trailed off, and Tom gave him a little smile. "I get it," he murmured. "And I was supposed to meet Lavender here but… I guess she wasn't in the mood. Good thing too, cause I don't want to imagine how she would've reacted to finding me on top of Hermione – or you. The whole school would know about it by now."
He took a deep breath and sat back while Bill pushed himself up and reached for his boxer-briefs, suddenly really self-conscious about his current state of undress. Tom had seen him naked countless times, of course, but this was different. This wasn't… innocent. He'd fucked it up and now nothing might ever be the same again.
They both put their clothes on then, and Bill pushed himself up, splashing some cold water into his face and fixing his slightly smudged makeup. When he was done, he turned around and leaned against the sink, looking at Tom who stood a bit away from him, hands buried in his pockets and biting his lip.
"I feel like I should say something," Tom said softly. "Like we should talk about this. But I'm not sure what to say."
Bill swallowed hard and rubbed his wrist. "I'm so-"
"Stop apologising," Tom almost snapped, then gave Bill an apologetic look when his brother flinched. "You don't need to apologise. I just… This is a lot to process and I think we should talk about this later, or tomorrow. Right now you should… I don't know. Go take a bath and calm down. You still look upset."
He took a step closer to Bill and kissed his forehead. "We'll talk, all right? And Bill… don't use that potion again. I'm not saying it'll always end badly but… I don't want you to get hurt again. Someone else might have come in here and taken advantage of you, and…"
Bill looked at him and nodded. "Okay," he whispered, rubbing his nose again as he watched his brother leave the room.
He stared down at the floor and felt… something. Everything. He wasn't even sure what he felt. His emotions were all over the place. After a while, he managed to take his stuff and leave the bathroom as well, making his way back to his dorm. He wondered if he could talk to Blaise about this; if he would understand…
***
On his way to his own common room, Tom was wondering the same thing. Could he tell Georg about this? How would he react? Would he be freaked out?
Probably. Not more freaked out than Tom himself was, but… Besides, Tom wasn't even sure what to say. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, and before he figured that out, he should probably not even talk to Bill.
Bill… What had he been thinking?
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't look where he was going and ended up running straight into someone. He blinked, then came face-to-face with Gustav who seemed to be on his way back to his own common room after visiting Georg.
"Oh… hey," Tom said, looking at the shorter boy and managing a little smile.
Then, something occurred to him. "Hey – how's this diary-writing working out for you? Does it help you figure stuff out? Does it ever give you clarity when you're confused?"
Gustav raised his brows and gave a weak shrug, obviously confused about the question. "Um… it does help," he offered finally, shrugging again. "I don't know if it would work for you, but it definitely does help me sort out my feelings."
He looked at Tom. "You look like you have a lot going on at the moment. Do you need to talk?"
Tom chewed on his bottom lip and made a noncommittal sound. "I don't know. I guess so. I'm just not sure if I can talk to anyone about this. I'm just… really confused right now and I'm not sure what to do."
Gustav nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off him. Tom had a feeling Gustav could look straight through him and knew exactly what was going on, which made him vaguely uneasy.
"Well, I'm a good listener," Gustav offered. "So if you need an objective opinion about something…"
Tom bit his lip. He knew Georg loved this guy but he didn't know him at all. Could he just put his trust in Gustav and tell him about this?
He didn't see a reason why he couldn't, so he nodded, took Gustav's arm and pulled him into the closest empty classroom. He sat down on the teacher's desk, dangling his feet as he folded his hands in his lap and took a deep breath.
"You know my brother, right? Bill? Well… He has his eyes set on Malfoy, and since Malfoy, the stupid git, isn't interested in having sex with him, Bill decided to use Polyjuice potion to turn into Potter. It apparently worked the first time, so he wanted to do it again today. Instead, however, he turned into Hermione. I walked in on him and Bill didn't give me any indication that he wasn't really Hermione. I seduced her – him – and then Bill suddenly had his own body back, and…"
He took a deep breath. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to him now. I mean… my brother – my twin – wanted to have sex with me. He says he was curious but I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. And he cried and… I'm just horribly confused right now. I want to be mad at him, but at the same time… not. And I don't even know if I can be mad at him. He looked so broken afterwards, and I just want to hug him and make it all better."
He looked up at Gustav who looked a little surprised but thoughtful as well. "I think you should talk to him," Gustav said after a moment of contemplative silence. "I'm sure Bill is even more confused than you are, so… I think the best thing you can do right now is talk to him. Think about what you're going to say, though, because Bill is probably still vulnerable, and if you say the wrong thing, it might hurt him. Ask him if he's attracted to you in general, of if it really was just curiosity, and… depending on his answer, you need to figure out your own feelings for him."
"I love him," Tom said with a shrug. "I mean… Of course I love him. He's the most important person in my life, and…"
Gustav nodded. "I don't mean that kind of love."
Tom frowned. "But the other kind of love isn't exactly accepted between siblings. Besides… I'm straight. Bill's a guy. And he's my brother. What are you implying?"
He didn't mean to get defensive but this was freaking him out a little.
Gustav sighed. "Look, does it really matter what anyone else thinks of you? Maybe you wouldn't be able to make out in public, but if you feel that kind of love and attraction for each other, does it really matter what other people think? I'm not implying anything; I'm just saying you need to prepare for the possibility that Bill's feelings for you have changed. So… think about it and talk to him. That's the only solution I can come up with right now."
Tom bit his lip and nodded. "Okay." He paused for a moment, then smiled. "Thank you. I think this really helped. It was good to get it all out."
Gustav smiled back. "Anytime."
Tom nodded and slid off the desk. "We should probably get to know each other," he offered. "Considering you and Georg are so tight. We should be friends."
Gustav's smile widened. "Sure. I'd like that. And if you ever need help with your thoughts again – you can always talk to me. I won't tell anyone; not even Georg if you don't want me to."
Tom nodded. "I'd appreciate that. I'm not sure if I can talk to him about this, so… keep it quiet for now?"
Gustav nodded. "I will."
After that very helpful conversation, Tom made his way back to his common room, Bill the only thing he could think about. He wasn't sure how to act the next time he saw his twin, but maybe after some thinking, he would come to a helpful conclusion.
He really hoped that would be the case because he couldn't live without Bill, and didn't want things to change between them. He'd die before he let any weirdness come between them.
He would fix this.
Chapter 7...
thiliaTitle: Brother, Lover, Whatever
Pairing: Tom/Bill (main), Bill/HP boys, Tom/HP girls
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU - Hogwarts, WIP, slutty Kaulitz twins ;)
Word Count: ~14,000, so far
Tom is a Gryffindor, Bill is a Slytherin. Tom is good and loyal, Bill not so much. The only thing they have in common is that they're both known as the greatest sluts to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts, and that nothing's ever been too wrong for them to try it...
Masterpost | THfiction | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Tom smirked into the kiss, his cock already hardening in his pants. He'd considered seducing Hermione Granger for years now and couldn't believe she was giving in to him this easily. He'd flirted with her a lot and sometimes she'd flirted back, but in general, Tom had always had the impression that she was more into Ron Weasley than him. And sometimes, her flirting with him had been very obviously done to make Ron jealous.
Maybe they were fighting once again and that was why Hermione was giving in. It would make sense… and either way, it didn't really matter. Tom wanted Hermione, Hermione clearly wanted him, if her eager kisses were any indication, and Tom fully planned to take advantage of this. He'd deal with the consequences later; right now, he let his cock do the thinking.
He slid his tongue into Hermione's mouth, his brows shooting up when he felt cool metal sliding against his tongue.
Hermione's tongue was pierced?! Tom had always thought his brother was the only one crazy enough to dig a hole through his tongue – but apparently not. The idea of maybe finding more piercings on Hermione's body sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his cock and he moaned into the kiss as he deepened it. Hermione's hands tangled into his braids and he moaned when she tugged a little.
Reassured that Hermione definitely wanted this, Tom let his hands wander and cupped one of her breasts, squeezing it lightly and making her let out a soft gasp. He smirked against her lips as he rubbed her nipple through the much-too-thick fabric of her shirt.
He broke the kiss and trailed his lips along her jaw and neck, nuzzling her curly, bushy hair as his other hand came up to stroke her other breast as well.
He shifted a little and pushed her down onto the floor, sliding on top of her. She spread her legs willingly, Tom slid between them, moaning when his cock rubbed against her centre. After kissing her again for a long moment, he reached for his wand and pointed it at the door, locking it with a spell. Then he turned back to her, looking down at her hungrily.
"You have way too many clothes on," he murmured, slowly unbuttoning her shirt with one hand, his eyes raking over her flawless skin. She wasn't wearing a bra and Tom moaned when he stared down at her exposed breasts; they weren't small but perfectly round – and one of her nipples was pierced as well. God dammit, this girl had an unexpected kinky side, which Tom approved of. A lot. He leaned forward to catch her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it lightly and smiling when she arched up into the touch, moaning. He kissed his way down to her stomach, trailing his tongue around her equally pierced bellybutton.
Just like he'd expected, Hermione had an amazing body, which he planned to kiss and touch for as long as she'd let him. He looked up into her eyes, giving her a smile before he slid his hand between her legs, stroking her slowly but insistently.
"Oh god," Hermione breathed, and Tom smirked smugly; he definitely knew how to make a girl feel incredible, and was glad to have so much experience; it made him confident about his abilities, and girls loved a guy who didn't hesitate. He kept rubbing her firmly for another few moments, then unbuttoned her trousers and pulled them down.
When she was naked, he stared down at her again, the pulsing in his groin almost unbearable in its intensity. He licked his lips and brushed his fingertips over her thighs while she stared up at him with wide eyes.
"Take off your clothes," she whispered. "Need to see you."
Tom grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."
He quickly discarded his own clothes, posing a little when he was naked to let her take a good long look at him. Hermione did; the hunger in her eyes evident.
"I want you," she murmured, her eyes travelling down his chest and down to his cock, which twitched a little when it was the centre of attention.
"I want you too," Tom replied, sliding his hands up to her hips. "Gotta get you ready first, though."
He leaned forward and kissed her lower stomach again while his hand once again moved up to wrap around one of her breasts. He rubbed the nipple lightly, pinching carefully as he slowly moved down between her legs. He loved going down at girls, especially girls who didn't have much experience – he loved watching them react to his skilful tongue. Hermione didn't disappoint, and started moaning loudly when Tom started flicking his tongue against her clit while he slid one, then two fingers inside of her, smiling when her muscles clenched around them. She was wet and ready, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait.
Hermione thrust her hips against him impatiently; she was trembling and whimpering, clearly needing him just as much as he needed her. Finally he pulled his mouth off her reluctantly, licking his lips and looking down at her. He moved up her body again, pressing a soft kiss against her lips as he rubbed his cock against her entrance.
"You ready?" he asked softly, showering kisses all over her face and looking down at her intently. He'd spent almost a whole half hour touching her and pleasuring her with his tongue, and she couldn't really get any readier than she was right now; he knew this. But he still needed the reassurance. Hermione was a "good" girl, and while she seemed pretty naughty and responsive to him right now, he didn't want to end up antagonising her. He was pretty sure Potter and Weasley would hunt him down if he did something she didn't want – and he really wanted to avoid that, if possible.
She nodded eagerly, giving him a brief smile. "Yes, I'm ready. I'm so ready, Tom."
Their eyes met and Tom gave her a little smile, nodding. He reached down, taking hold of his cock as he rubbed the tip against her, then positioned it and pushed in firmly, sliding in slowly.
Hermione tightened around him the moment he entered her, and her nails dug into his shoulders. Her face was scrunched up in concentration as he slid in easily – but after a second or two, her grip on him tightened and she let out a whimper. "Ahh… ah – ow! Tom, you need-"
Tom nuzzled her neck, stroking her hip calmingly as he pressed on, knowing it sometimes hurt a little for girls before the pleasure took over. She'd thank him later. He pushed in deeper, then raised his head, his heart sinking when he saw the obvious pain on her face. A tear rolled down her cheek and he kissed it away. "It'll be okay. Just need to get past…" He trailed off, then buried his face in her neck again, pushing harder, which made her yelp in pain and start pushing him back.
He slid out of her without meaning to, and when he raised his head to look down at her, he froze and sat up abruptly, falling back onto his ass.
Hermione was gone – and instead, he was staring at Bill.
Bill was looking up at him through wet lashes, curling up into a ball when Tom sat up in shock.
"Tomi," he whispered, sniffling.
Tom's eyes widened and he sputtered, not sure what the hell was going on here. "Bill, what…"
Bill sniffled and rubbed his eyes, now not only tear-streaked, but also blushing in embarrassment, while Tom slowly began to realise that Bill must've polyjuiced into Hermione – and why the hell would he do that? – and then agreed to let him fuck him/her…
But why?
Tom was confused and knew it was obvious. But Bill was in tears, and a mess, and even though Tom needed explanations, his brother's well-being came first. He crawled over to him and wrapped his arms around the other boy, kissing his forehead and rocking him back and forth, whispering what he hoped were soothing words.
Bill finally rubbed his eyes and took a shaky breath, resting his head on Tom's shoulder. It had hurt. Hermione had to be a virgin, which was why he had been a virgin as well. It didn't hurt anymore now, but he couldn't seem to calm down. He'd never meant for Tom to find out it was him. He wasn't even sure why he'd said 'yes'. And now Tom looked confused, and maybe a little angry, and while Bill was usually unbelievably confident, he felt really self-conscious and embarrassed right now. How was he supposed to explain this to Tom? What if Tom was horrified and he'd broken their strong bond with this… whatever this was?
After fretting for a few long minutes, he made himself look up at his brother and wiped his tears away.
Tom looked down at him and stroked his hair, biting his lip.
"I'm sorry," Bill murmured before Tom could say anything. "I was going to… turn into Potter again, for Malfoy, but… I must've picked up the wrong hair and…"
Tom nodded, understanding that much, and pressed another soft kiss against Bill's still-red cheek. "But why did you…?"
"Play along?" Bill asked, taking another deep breath. "I guess I was… curious. I'm sorry – I never meant to betray you and I still don't know why I did it but… I really just… I was curious, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
He rubbed his nose and looked at Tom. "Are you mad?"
Tom looked down at him, still running his fingers through Bill's long hair, and finally shook his head. "I'm not mad. I'm just… confused. Did I hurt you?" He bit his lip, looking so worried that Bill wanted to grab something hard and hit himself over the head with it like their silly house elf Lippy.
"A little," he admitted in a small voice. "I just… I guess I wasn't prepared for it to hurt, and… Fuck, Tomi, I'm sorry."
Tom nodded and tightened his arms around him, making Bill feel a little better. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said quietly.
"It's okay," Bill whispered. "Doesn't hurt anymore."
They were silent for a long moment until Bill looked up again. "Why did you come into the girls' bathroom in the first place?"
He realised he sounded like he was accusing Tom and blaming him for everything that had happened, and added quickly, "I mean – not that it's your fault. But…"
He trailed off, and Tom gave him a little smile. "I get it," he murmured. "And I was supposed to meet Lavender here but… I guess she wasn't in the mood. Good thing too, cause I don't want to imagine how she would've reacted to finding me on top of Hermione – or you. The whole school would know about it by now."
He took a deep breath and sat back while Bill pushed himself up and reached for his boxer-briefs, suddenly really self-conscious about his current state of undress. Tom had seen him naked countless times, of course, but this was different. This wasn't… innocent. He'd fucked it up and now nothing might ever be the same again.
They both put their clothes on then, and Bill pushed himself up, splashing some cold water into his face and fixing his slightly smudged makeup. When he was done, he turned around and leaned against the sink, looking at Tom who stood a bit away from him, hands buried in his pockets and biting his lip.
"I feel like I should say something," Tom said softly. "Like we should talk about this. But I'm not sure what to say."
Bill swallowed hard and rubbed his wrist. "I'm so-"
"Stop apologising," Tom almost snapped, then gave Bill an apologetic look when his brother flinched. "You don't need to apologise. I just… This is a lot to process and I think we should talk about this later, or tomorrow. Right now you should… I don't know. Go take a bath and calm down. You still look upset."
He took a step closer to Bill and kissed his forehead. "We'll talk, all right? And Bill… don't use that potion again. I'm not saying it'll always end badly but… I don't want you to get hurt again. Someone else might have come in here and taken advantage of you, and…"
Bill looked at him and nodded. "Okay," he whispered, rubbing his nose again as he watched his brother leave the room.
He stared down at the floor and felt… something. Everything. He wasn't even sure what he felt. His emotions were all over the place. After a while, he managed to take his stuff and leave the bathroom as well, making his way back to his dorm. He wondered if he could talk to Blaise about this; if he would understand…
On his way to his own common room, Tom was wondering the same thing. Could he tell Georg about this? How would he react? Would he be freaked out?
Probably. Not more freaked out than Tom himself was, but… Besides, Tom wasn't even sure what to say. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, and before he figured that out, he should probably not even talk to Bill.
Bill… What had he been thinking?
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't look where he was going and ended up running straight into someone. He blinked, then came face-to-face with Gustav who seemed to be on his way back to his own common room after visiting Georg.
"Oh… hey," Tom said, looking at the shorter boy and managing a little smile.
Then, something occurred to him. "Hey – how's this diary-writing working out for you? Does it help you figure stuff out? Does it ever give you clarity when you're confused?"
Gustav raised his brows and gave a weak shrug, obviously confused about the question. "Um… it does help," he offered finally, shrugging again. "I don't know if it would work for you, but it definitely does help me sort out my feelings."
He looked at Tom. "You look like you have a lot going on at the moment. Do you need to talk?"
Tom chewed on his bottom lip and made a noncommittal sound. "I don't know. I guess so. I'm just not sure if I can talk to anyone about this. I'm just… really confused right now and I'm not sure what to do."
Gustav nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off him. Tom had a feeling Gustav could look straight through him and knew exactly what was going on, which made him vaguely uneasy.
"Well, I'm a good listener," Gustav offered. "So if you need an objective opinion about something…"
Tom bit his lip. He knew Georg loved this guy but he didn't know him at all. Could he just put his trust in Gustav and tell him about this?
He didn't see a reason why he couldn't, so he nodded, took Gustav's arm and pulled him into the closest empty classroom. He sat down on the teacher's desk, dangling his feet as he folded his hands in his lap and took a deep breath.
"You know my brother, right? Bill? Well… He has his eyes set on Malfoy, and since Malfoy, the stupid git, isn't interested in having sex with him, Bill decided to use Polyjuice potion to turn into Potter. It apparently worked the first time, so he wanted to do it again today. Instead, however, he turned into Hermione. I walked in on him and Bill didn't give me any indication that he wasn't really Hermione. I seduced her – him – and then Bill suddenly had his own body back, and…"
He took a deep breath. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to him now. I mean… my brother – my twin – wanted to have sex with me. He says he was curious but I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. And he cried and… I'm just horribly confused right now. I want to be mad at him, but at the same time… not. And I don't even know if I can be mad at him. He looked so broken afterwards, and I just want to hug him and make it all better."
He looked up at Gustav who looked a little surprised but thoughtful as well. "I think you should talk to him," Gustav said after a moment of contemplative silence. "I'm sure Bill is even more confused than you are, so… I think the best thing you can do right now is talk to him. Think about what you're going to say, though, because Bill is probably still vulnerable, and if you say the wrong thing, it might hurt him. Ask him if he's attracted to you in general, of if it really was just curiosity, and… depending on his answer, you need to figure out your own feelings for him."
"I love him," Tom said with a shrug. "I mean… Of course I love him. He's the most important person in my life, and…"
Gustav nodded. "I don't mean that kind of love."
Tom frowned. "But the other kind of love isn't exactly accepted between siblings. Besides… I'm straight. Bill's a guy. And he's my brother. What are you implying?"
He didn't mean to get defensive but this was freaking him out a little.
Gustav sighed. "Look, does it really matter what anyone else thinks of you? Maybe you wouldn't be able to make out in public, but if you feel that kind of love and attraction for each other, does it really matter what other people think? I'm not implying anything; I'm just saying you need to prepare for the possibility that Bill's feelings for you have changed. So… think about it and talk to him. That's the only solution I can come up with right now."
Tom bit his lip and nodded. "Okay." He paused for a moment, then smiled. "Thank you. I think this really helped. It was good to get it all out."
Gustav smiled back. "Anytime."
Tom nodded and slid off the desk. "We should probably get to know each other," he offered. "Considering you and Georg are so tight. We should be friends."
Gustav's smile widened. "Sure. I'd like that. And if you ever need help with your thoughts again – you can always talk to me. I won't tell anyone; not even Georg if you don't want me to."
Tom nodded. "I'd appreciate that. I'm not sure if I can talk to him about this, so… keep it quiet for now?"
Gustav nodded. "I will."
After that very helpful conversation, Tom made his way back to his common room, Bill the only thing he could think about. He wasn't sure how to act the next time he saw his twin, but maybe after some thinking, he would come to a helpful conclusion.
He really hoped that would be the case because he couldn't live without Bill, and didn't want things to change between them. He'd die before he let any weirdness come between them.
He would fix this.
Chapter 7...
